Liars , Manipulators and Obsessed Freaks

How do you get rid of a crazy fucker who obsessively writes lies about you 6 months AFTER it is over, who rings your home and hangs up, just wanting to hear my voice presumably, floods your mails with nonsense , writes nasty letters all over the sphere which would make a crazy motherfucker seem sane, and then blames YOU for his loss of readership?
Any tips?
It's a good thing he named me this time, or I would not have known who he was talking about!!

Behind my back the LOON made out I was a psycho net stalker, while we were having a relationship, then a black mailer, then a MOTHER who gave him unconditional love,while he was still asking me to meet him in IMs, then made out I was sending him hate mail when I learned of all his back stabbing pathological lies and obsessive conduct.

Involved in another relationship, and him informed of the fact I had met someone else MONTHS ago, the fuck still roams around mail bombing my friends and ME , follows me from site to site attacking me and then plays victims when he is not bragging about how He can 'control people' like dogs' and can only be 'friends with men if they accept his total dominance over them' while feigning the spiritual one.
Oh, did I tell you he is a drugged out, paranoid schizophrenic who hallucinates he is Jesus?
Well, send me to Hell if that psyhco fuck is in Heaven.
There Crushedbyingsoc- now THAT is the fucking truth!!!
GO save the world and exit stage door left MINE!!!

Bedlam

I have no idea why my blog seems to incite bedlam, but it seems that there is a new troll in town who looks pretty much like the old one.
Comment moderator is back on.Bank details still the same , so HIT ME!

Getting MY Hate On

I have decided that I am too nice!

Laugh at that if you will GRRRRRRRRR

BUT the proof is in the pudding, as they say.

All my life I have been a magnet for strays, crumblies and crazies. I am not surprised all the trolls kick off their shoes and get cozy here , too.

My mother has yet to 'leave home' and her dog lounges on my bed, despite my allergies, resenting any square inch I may inhabit.

When I yell at him to 'GET OFF MY FUCKING BED!' ( As I am actually IN it, he just looks at me, licks his jacobs and tunes me out).

Funny, my former husband was like that too.

Him, I had to kill.

So there can only be one thing that describes my crazy life events( especially as I am NOT a people person)..I am too fucking nice.

NO MORE!

I am going to be really mean, rude, arrogant and obnoxious!

Well, more so then, if you want to get anal.

All trolls , back stabbers and haters will now be given a lethal injection of Ubermouth.

Free.

Rosebud

It's official.

He is NEVER going to forgive me, EVEN on his deathbed.
A pessimist would say that, that's creepy, not a tad clingy and kinda obsessive.Not to mention very UNchristian like.

But ever the optimist I think to myself:
I CLEARLY have the 'X' factor! While everyone else he ever dated or will date are MERE bitches- I, alone, will be who he is thinking of on his deathbed!
I don't need forgiveness- I just need to be remembered, I don't even care for what. I'm not anal!

In fact he thought I was the Devil , but logic told him 'maybe not'.
That's what I like about logic- it's so logical, if you think about it logically.

I mean really, who would give the Devil broadband? You can just imagine what 'SHE' would get up to online! Probably bid at Ebay , but never pay. Everyone knows the Devil is not gainfully employed.

It's not so bad being 'marketed' as the Devil . I mean it's not God exactly, but it sure beats being a mere mortal... or worse FORGETTABLE!!!

Now THAT would be horrendous.

Wouldn't it be 'hysterical' if I was his nurse on his deathbed?

Now IF I am the Devil, I just may well be there, after all.

I'll be the one in Prada.

Black , of course.

Death Becomes Her

You know what really gets up my nose? Those really 'up' people who are so busy living they give no mind to dying.
Not that I am a control freak who has to pre-arrange every minute of my life, 10 years in advance ROD! , but it makes sense that after the age of say- oh- 25 we should be looking ahead to our funerals.
Now I know this is not a topic for polite society, ( like any of my readers fall into THAT category) hence why I am the one to bring you down to reality with a bump!

Let's face it, we spend more time primping and planning for a date on Saturday night than we do planning our final exit!And given the extra challenge of looking our best at that precise time, it's not something you can leave to the relations who probably don't like ya anyway. You just know will dress you all gaudy and likely not even comb your freaking hair!

Think of it like a black wedding, where once again YOU will be the attraction, everyone WILL be looking at you and smearing your make up with their insincere kisses and runny noses. There's fuck all you can do about that, but you can TRY to look good( one last time)!
Well... relatively speaking and providing you have the good fortune of not being too old or decapitated when your 'last dance' is called.

There's so much to do...will you wear black?(only if you are fat and want to b-l-e-n-d into the coffin satin), hair up or down? Red lipstick too much?Yeah, I think we can skip the sensible, comfortable shoes this time.

Now who is going to eulogise you? You know your husband/brother/ungrateful child would fuck up such a momentous catalogue of all your many and unique talents .
Better you do it yourself. Ditto with the obits.Not to be morbid ,BUT you need to control know what is being said about you. Not like you can jump up and refute it or ADD what they forgot.

The most important thing though is your tombstone. The last chance to speak your mind. You're not gonna let someone else utter your final words, are you?

Not me!

Now I am thinking.....last words... Funny ? like " NICE shoes! Gucci?" or nasty? " If you can read this then you're standing on my tits!" or the perpetual victim whine? " Told ya I was sick!"

Our very last words MUST be memorable and have an impact for all who walk all over us (as in life) and this is not something we can put off 'til the last moment....or you may be left without a voice.

What would your epitaph say ?

Welcome to Higher Learning....

As you may or may not know or, given how rotten and selfish you all are, even CARE ,I have been away!

I even contemplated leaving for good- AGAIN! But why should you guys get what you want? I'm not THAT accommodating!Besides, what would you do without your Queen of Mean reigning supreme( beat that Pru poet)

SO! I am not back five minutes and I hightail it over to my homey's , of course,and there is this lame,candy assed, bubble gum chewing, stalker- wanna - be TRYING to make MY Barbie cry!

I was outraged!Livid! Disgusted! Barbie is worthy of only the creme -de- le- creme,most talented stalkers!

Who even let this Crystal, who has serious gender identity issues, in?She's like the know nothing temp of stalkerdom...

Obviously a stalker school flunkee, Crystal was insulting her for being popular, pretty and funny with gazillions of readers! I mean really...tell her she has beeeutiful breasts and I think you have hit the mark of cruelty, Crystal.Dick!

Now I know I have only been here a year , but a year in blogland is like 10 in the outside world,or prison,( take your pick) but in MY day stalkers had SOME pride of /and or craftsmanship!

I am a meaner cu** than that when I am trying really , really hard to be nice! Then again, I AM The Queen of Mean.

So, without the fan fare or lunch vouchers....Crystal , for your own good,you have just been enrolled in.....

QUEEN UBER'S SCHOOL OF QUALITY STALKING

Try NOT to fuck this once in a lifetime opportunity up , eh?

1/ You will include at least ONE ( preferably more)really disgusting foul, UN p. c , UNladylike swear word(s) when establishing your rep.

2/ NO troll comment should EVER exceed the fucking blog post.No one is going to w-a-d-e through the War and Peace of blog comments!

3/ Hit 'em sharp and fast and then get the fuck out!

4/Never attack the blog topic, attack the blog author.

5/.Engage in 'friendly' emails first, sniff out all their private business and THEN shit it ALL OVER the sphere.

* Not mine though or I will have to kill ya!

6/NEVER, EVER ( do write this down, Crsytal) start on the biggest, most popular blog here, whose author could give you major acid burns with her tongue IN HER SLEEP! Twit!

7/ Never start off a pre- emptive,Bush-like ,axis- of- evil, full scale , comment with 'Oh you have such lovely hair.....'

Fucking amateurs! I yell...oooh, a bug just flew into my mouth.

What's blogland coming to? You can't even get a decent stalker ? I have had nastier 'friends'!

Shit blogs I can handle- shit stalkers, there's an expected standard!

We need to unionize these half wits before we become Huxtables!

In other news, I am taking off comment moderator. This is not an invitation for you two (and you know who you are)to come and shit all over my blog. I am quite adept at doing that myself.