Just To Say....

The rumours of my death have been grossly exaggerated !!! Put down the cake and drop the party hats, bitches! There! I hope that ruins a few peoples day!
I'm too fucking mean to die! Even with the shoddy health care in this country!

I do have a kidney infection though ( I CAN hear those yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyys and will kick your asses IF I live)

The doctor put me on the wrong antibiotics that would not have cleared up a pimple so, after four days of no discernible recovery, and in fact getting worse, I called the doctor back .
The God complex on the receptionist when she heard I expected a house call!
' If I was well enough to get to the doctor, I would not likely need one!' I told her and she reluctantly, and with a lot of sighing, put me on the list.
The doctor ( not my regular) came, and aside from constantly calling my mum' woman' LOL she was very sweet- except when she told 'woman' that she is looking after me well!
I was too ill to object and point out 'Florence Nightingale' leaves her ONLY daughter, future changer of her diapers, for 16 hours at a time with a sickly VITAL organ and a fever without even popping her head in to make polite enquires of my health!

Not even the pretense of concern!

I could have died, gone through the whole rigormortis stage and began decomposing in the lapsed time it took' woman' to even check up on me!
The dog gets the sniffles mind, and she is a hovering, vet on standby!

Not that I am bitching!
Will be back soon , if I survive the 'care' I am receiving!

I suspect that one of you out there has a voodoo doll....

Boys In Da Uber 'Hood

In honour of wonderful men who take my humorous bashings with good grace.....

My Boys in Da 'Hood

There are 3 male bloggers here who have, against all odds, wormed their way into my blackened, cynical lump that passes for a heart.

Bag's Rants is a political blogger with a dry, sarcastic twist. Anyone who can make political issues and the sorry state of our UNfair country funny gets extra points from me.He makes the rounds , as do his like- minded friends, but they only comment if they have something to add, hence they are almost 'lurkers' ,less interested in networking and acquiring hits. Refreshing, no? He comes to my blog frequently, rarely comments but thinks me witty and clever. Personally, I think he is in love with me but that may just be a delusion.
This is a sample from his recent post "Frightening New Discovery" on trolls...
'We need to act now. I propose we change our computers so that the keyboards are really small and fiddly so the trolls big fat fingers can't type. That should do it. You notice we don't get any trolls on phones. The keypads are too small.'

This post particularly deserves a gander.

It's official. The UK's balls are the best.

'Well it seems the Brits are actually good at something. Finally. We have won the World Marble Championships. Oh! At first I thought it was an award for those that had lost their marbles. But careful thought indicated that it couldn't be so or the UK would have been the reigning champions for at least the last 10 years.
Now doesn't that get the blood roaring? Helen of Troy had a 1,000 ship army sent for her fair hand and thousands died during that campaign and an entire civilisation changed. We Brits have a game of marbles over our fair maidens. Kind of puts us into our place doesn't it and make you reconsider our understanding of the words epic and battle.'

Go check him out for brain food AND a good laugh. No pressure Bag's. :)

My Second favourite man blogger is the real life Sergeant whose blog title I would never utter, and who signs his posts'One Man's Opinion.' A real life Sergeant , he is political, satirical and has real heart and soul.He is part of a black blogging community; rare gems one has to search for as they are not part of the mainstream ( unlike that sell out Miss Pudding- just kidding dahling!)
I am not sure if this Albino is welcome there as Sarge likes to write about modern day black issues for black people, but I find we can ALL learn a thing or two from this very articulate , clever and dead funny blogger.
Here's your canape from ' Look At This N*****'

Ba-lack Obama, Ba-racks the Vote

Oh, and did I tell you about the sorry ass women they had out there to pump up the crowd. I didn’t even know people did the wave at political rallies. My favorite part was when they had one side of the room yell Barack and the other side would echo Obama. I had never wanted to yell Hillary so badly in my life, but I didn’t want to catch a beat down.

And from his very thought provoking What UP post:
(You know what I have noticed. I cuss way too much on this blog. You are reading blog created by a man who has never utter a profaned word in front of anyone in his family. Except last year when I told them I wanted my head stone to read, "Bye-Bye Bitches", but that didn't count.)

Last but not least is probably our most known commenter-without-a -blog, until Barbie and I duly browbeat him into opening one- Clyde. I have a funny history with Clyde that I won't bore you with, but he was one of my first readers. New to the other side of blogging, Clyde is just finding his feet which will, I hope, shuffle around real life experiences he talks of in private mails to me. Seriously, and surprisingly, this is another blogger with real heart and soul. I could marry this guy, except I like him too much to wish that upon him!
Welcome to the cesspit Clyde!



From his earliest posts CESS or SAND

'I never wanted to write a blog of my own. I'm not sure that I can I'm not sure that I want to now I was quite content to be a "lurker" going from blog to blog reading about the lives and thoughts of a diverse gaggle of spruikers and talented story tellers. So then I get these comments from two lovely ladies---ok, well female blogger (Uber and her Barbie) that maybe I should post myself OOOOHHHEEE, an invitation from two beauties to come and play in the sand pit----what is a guy to do----a redhead and a blonde-----what a quinella.'